**The story of the four leaf clover and the fear of the old days*

Once upon a time there was a lonely little girl she was searching for a four leaf clover, always when she see it...when she run for it. She hurt herself, because that four leaf clover wasn't in a field, it was in a mountain of thousand of needles, so everytime she searched for that clover, the needles were pushing and hurting the little girl.When she see it again, the four leaf clover is more far away from she, then she thought that the four leaf clover did not wanted to be caught... she thought "It is running away from me" This makes so much pain for she, so she cryed a little that day, and she wait, she give a chance to wait for the decision of that four leaf clover. So time have past, she try again, but as well everything keep being as the same way... the same pain. So, this time the little and lonely girl was the one who take a decision, she does not want to be following an eternal way, she thought that probably the life mean "a long search for the happiness" but if that four leaf clover is not her happines?... Then all the time, all her pain was just a waste ..a waste of her precious time. That day her decision was.. to show her back to that four leaf clover, to return all the way... maybe it is a give up... but she have to do it like that, even if that four leaf clover appear in her life again, she have to pass by, dont even look at it..because the chance of the four leaf clover has gone.But.. she was worried about, she hope to take the ride of her decision, she hope to dont get on his tramps again.. so that is her new mission; people have called it "forget about it" it sounds really easy but actually it is really hard.She didn't knew how, when or why she started to want that four leaf clover? She has asked her many times.. "why i want it?".. but she did not find the reason why... So, she was thinking that if she get that four leaf clover she will know... but the only thing that she learned is that she can not do anything, she can not keep pushing herself to be something than she is not... because all her life, she has been in a box, she did not wanted to go out, but for that four leaf clover she has gone so far for it.So it's time to return home, she wanted... but could it be that old days bring her the same happiness again?... She tryed it...but it doesn't do.. old days had changed to her. She return to it, she smiled for it but when she look inside her, and she find herself sad and lonely why is that? She wanted to cry, she wanted to be alone... but people dont see it they grab her, they put her to do things that she does not want... she think " Can not they see that i am sadness?" She wanted to scream out, but she does not know why! but that's the way of how she feel...people keep pushing she, rushing she, slaping she at the end...they hurt she with their innocent actions..poor, unlucky wretch little girl... because they didn't know her pain, they hurt she a lot..She wanted to cry, but she couldn't.. why she must be always smiling?Everyday it gets much painfull because when she see her truth face, more down and sad than yesterday.That is how she feel in her return of the old days... but.. she see it now... the reason why she liked that four leaf clover, because that clover give her a reason to keep living, to keep smiling, to have a search, to have a short dream...because when she see that especial clover, she feel really happy, when people talk about it she feel happy.. and she is always thinking about that four leaf clover... When she get back in old days, she had found herself thinking in the four leaf clover... So at many ways it hurts she.. in old days and in her searching way.. She thought "what am i suppoused to do? forget all the ways..? to give the back to the two ways, and walk a new way? ...alone.... Do soreba ii?" She tryed that way.. but they dont want her to go! She wanted to go! They want her in the old days.. but they don't know that things have gone so far, and have changed.. they dont know her sadness... She knows that they are trying their best, but they dont see that she is in a big confusion of what to do know... She wants her own time to think about it, she wants to stop the time, but it is not easy ... they still put her in hard decisions, in hard ways...in a hard way to smile.. but that little sabishii girl keep smiling.. but it is soo fake that it hurts she... a fake smile.. not a warm smile.. what should she do?... Now, she have two ways to look, old days and the days of the four leaf clover, what's better to she? To go in a empy life, without feelings, where everything is soo fake?...or... To go following a hurtful clover, that makes you happy, but for his search she has to get hurted many times, it means a search without ending... she means... a impossible search....

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~

PD: Sorry for any eng/sp errors!