***At chemestry class***

I have to go on, i still have amazing stuff to see, but everyday, i feel less strong; everyday is a breaking soul, my way of be was caught by a mirror; everytime i look at me i feel like a part of myself has gone. I feel like i’m seeing someone else.

I want to be strong, so, i’m always doing my best, controling my eating mood, controling my personality, being nice, being smart, forcing myself to smile, making exercises, doing art. But is still not good enought right?
I’m still fat, i’m not perfect, but people want me to become perfect but i can not.
I want to be what they want, and not what i want... that’s a big trouble. But as
well, i can not simply say no. Why i’m always saying yes?

I see people laughing and i wonder if there is a sad moment on their life, of course it is but how can they cover it?
I can’t. I just show what i feel, but as friends and good people, there isn’t the law that says:
“help others when they feel down”
But they even make you go more down down.

I want a hand over the sky, to get my hand so then i could climb up from the dark hole where i am, and see the light of the sun, and not the one of the stars and moon. How will it feel to look down and see the people from far away under you. And not to look up and see everybody seeing you, and then you feel so asshamed, so, you will look down...
And when you look down, you see how the darkness is eating your body little by little, making it more painfull.

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~


PD: Sorry for my eng/sp errors