jueves, 28 de mayo de 2009

***Healthy money***

They say the most important thing in the life is to be healthy
But in order to be healthy you need money, so you could pay the medicine, pills or whatever you need…
Sometimes, your sickness can not be healing by pills… in that case what will you do?
How can you treat a broken heart? How can you treat the sadness?
How does it feel to be sick?
We never realized when we are sick until we are near of the death…
We told ourselves that “we will be OK”
We want to believe in those lies, even doctors says it… “Do not worry, if you follow my instructions you will get better”
Months went off… and it is the same….
You suddenly realize that you are really bad… that no matter how it looks you are sick… you start to think they are people worst than you, so you should not worry…
But the truth is … in life we do not have to look at other position, if they have money or no, if they are healthy or no… no matter how selfish looks… but we have to care about ourselves…
Out of the blue, when you start caring about your health you recognize you need money too…
Sometimes, it is easy to let it be, “if god want me dead then go ahead”

Today I figured out, that the way I am living is not all right, although I say to myself that I will be OK, that I am really ok… that there is people living worst than me, that I should not worry about it…

But it looks like I should worry about…
Doctor says… “You are tense you have a lot of stress and worries carrying on your shoulders… why so much? You are only 16 years old”
I ask myself too… why I am like that ? But is something I can not stop doing, worrying about almost every little thing in this world… maybe I just think too much… But everybody have their worries and still they can have a perfect health… so then is my body? My body can not handle it?

So, I started thinking in order to make my dreams come true I need to take care of my health… but later I figured it out something else… money….
I do not want to cause more wastes than I already did to my family… I remember why I stopped to check out my health, because my mom’s money will run out so quickly… And I have been just that… a waste of money…
I know my mom and sister have their dreams too, and I can not think about only myself… so I realized that health is not important, that I should be doing my best, studying, finding a work, so, I could give money to my family…

Somehow I start to hate myself… I found that I am worthless… not doing nothing for my family, I do not work and I still want to study aboard in other places… also worrying my mom about my health… and make her waste money in me… it is ironic, that you have to pay thousands of money just to know that you are sick… what a joke right? Pay so much just to know we are about to die… if that is the case then I prefer not to know…

Then I wanted to cry, and I asked me “why could not I be fine?” “Why do I have to be sick?” so I realized how people feels, not because of your own feelings, because of the people around you… that will worry…
I told myself “why there is not a magic or a pill that will make you be ok?” Because if it is not something then is the other thing, so, you never will be 100% fine…
I told myself then I should just die the way I am, do the best I can, and wait or have faith that you will die in a distant moment…

I said to my mom “just let me die” and my mom argued with me “How can I let you die? Are you crazy? You will not die!! You just need to take care of yourself and do what doctors said”
But even if I get to be fine again, I will return to the same sick later… because it is like my normal condition of my body…
Also I want to use that money for better things like my education or to make my dream…
Because what is the point of living a healthy life if you can not make those wishes… I would prefer doing my dream and then I could rest in peace…

But another fact comes to my mind… that is… that is what people who love you so much do… Because they do not want you to go, they want instead to sacrifice their life for their kids…

So, I realized what true love means…

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~

miércoles, 20 de mayo de 2009

***Music Sensation***

You know how music can really touch your heart?
You know how music can make you feel happy?
You know how music can relax you?

Really, I think music is the best creation of humans
Is like magic, like a spell
That makes you dance
Makes you sing
Makes you forget about all problems
A magic that alleviate all pain…
Also, somehow lyrics can express exactly the feelings in your heart
That is!
How good they are!

So, I will put here a lyric of a song I really like
I REPEAT THE LYRICS ARE NOT WRITE BY ME! Ok?
The song is from a Korean drama, called 9 outs 2 ends
And the song name is Sarang dang gi gi or something like that!

One step forward and one step back
I’m tired of the push and pull
If you like me, just tell me you like me
Let’s not squander our time
My love

Why are you acting like this?
What are you being like this to me?
Why, repeatedly
Do you make me agonize?
Knowing how I feel about you?

If you keep at it
If you keep at it on purpose
I, who only have eyes for you
My heart that loves only you
Might change

When good things happen
Or when things go wrong
What I always do first
I think of you, and
I now know why it is so

Well, I am not crazy because of love… but well pretty lyrics

“One step forward and one step back
I’m tired of the push and pull
If you like me, just tell me you like me
Let’s not squander our time
My love”


That is really true if you like her just say it LOL
But well, I like this because I feel like giving a step forward and one step back, I feel tired of the push and pull, and I feel like I am squander my time…
That is why when I listen to it I remember my feelings…

And well the other parts I like it too, although is not like I am feeling,
But well that someone love you so much to feel that way, to say those words
Is truly amazing

So moving further more, if in a test say “which song do you want to believe in?”
Then this one I like much… it is also from 9 outs 2 ends kdrama
Fly again from Byul

"Even if living is hard
Even if I’m tripped up by love
Someday
A great day will come to me
This is the beginning
I am the hero in my life
Don’t forget who you are
It’s OK, don’t worry
Everyone finds it tough going
Take a good night’s rest
And it will be OK
I’m not familiar with the words “give up”
I’m fine, unyielding
Always brave
I’ll bear it

I believe
Even if living is hard
Even if I’m tripped up by love
I won’t cry or whine
This is the beginning
I am the hero in my life
I never don’t cry
Goodbye, sorrowful tears
Goodbye, painful anguish
Wait for me, my dreams from last night
Today’s the beginning
I’ll pull it off, Smile again

It’s OK, just wait and see
Even if I fall ten times
I will rise and triumphantly
Win again
In wind and rain
I’m fine, unyielding
Always brave
I’ll bear it

I believe
Even if living is hard
Even if I’m tripped up by love
I won’t cry or whine
This is the beginning
I am the hero in my life
I never don’t cry
Goodbye, sorrowful tears
Goodbye, painful anguish
Wait for me, my dreams from last night
Today’s the beginning
I’ll pull it off, Smile again
But I still have you
Today, you’re smiling, yet again
My precious friend who’s always been beside me
Fly higher
Until the end of the sky
fly me again
If I fall hundreds of times
If I fall thousands of times
I will never stop here
This is the beginning

I am the hero in my life
I never don’t cry
Goodbye, sorrowful tears
Goodbye, painful anguish
Wait for me, my dreams from last night

Today’s the beginning
I’ll do OK, I don’t cry
Even if love leaves me
Even if the world makes me cry
Someday
A great day will come to me

This is the beginning
I am the hero in my life
I never don’t cry
Goodbye, sorrowful tears
Goodbye, painful anguish"


Why do I believe in this song?
Because I want to believe that I will be strong
That I will go ahead no matter what happen
That I will forget about sad memories
That I won’t hold to the past
That I will do OK, that a great day waits for me…

And there is a song like this one, about smile
I had always thought that smile is the best thing you can do
You won't make people worry because they will believe you are happy
And somehow you will believe that you are happy too
And of course, because people can fall in love by seeing a bright smile
So… WARATTE!! わらって !!
This is
Ai Otsuka song, called Smily

"La la la, yeah...
Pushing more than usual (no way)
Love love day (yeah!)
Coming and going, getting ready (ha!)
I care (go!!)

Everyone get together and have fun being young
I want to be a happy person, even more than this, smily

Wanting to cry, it's something that can be found alone
Smile, smile, I want to see your smiling face
When I want to cry, please be quietly at my side
Smile, smile, I want to see you tomorrow

La la la, yeah...
I'm a prettier girl than usual (no way)
Lucky day (yeah!)
I'm strong (ha!)
That's what I think (go!)

It's something without form; so it's interesting, and dear to me
I want it to be happy, more than ever before

Let's go and find lost feelings once more
Smile, smile, I want to see your smiling face
Try entrusting your sad feelings to whistling
Smile, smile, I want to see you tomorrow

Wanting to cry, it's something that can be found alone
Smile, smile, I want to see your smiling face
When I want to cry, please be quietly at my side
Smile, smile, I want to see you tomorrow

La la la, I want to see you tomorrow"

I feel like singing this song everyday LOL
So, what did we learn today? (When the hell did I transform into a teacher??!)
Well, we should smile no matter how much we want to cry
We need to be strong…
We should forget about sadness
We must believe in ourselves and be confident
We do not have to give up to our wishes
If we try, if we can get to do this
Then we will live our life?

I know that you already know this… but do not you get a feeling by reading the lyrics? A feeling of that you are not alone that you can do your best?
And of course if you hear the music with the lyric
Then you will tear your pain!

がんばって!!!わらって!!

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~
PD: sorry for any eng error >.<

***Oh hell, not again…***

It is useless…
No matter how much I scream…
No matter how sad I am
No matter how much I care…
It seems nothing comes back
I am just giving…
Am I really doing my best?
Nobody hear you
They only want to talk and talk
But they do not feel like listening…
Even is they hear me… they do not understand
I am tired of listening the people…
I am tired of listening people’s shit
I am tired of the people telling me what to do or not
I want to listen myself
I want to find myself in this big world…
Or all this time I was only listening to myself?
Where is my mind?
Where is my heart?
When did I lose them?
Are they really here?
Am I alone again?..

I know pretty well…
The only person that can understand you in this world is yourself
But I do not even understand myself…
How can I live if I do not know who I am and what I want?
When did I lose myself?
When did my mind change?
Did my mind really change?
Or it is just this weird feeling in my heart?
All my hopes and dreams fade away
Where did they go?
Dreams are mean for sleeping (8)
That is what I hear
But then, some people say “be careful with what you wish because it can come true” (8)
What song should I listen then?
Which should I live the reality or the dream?
I am lost
But still I want to lost myself I little more…
I want to get out
No worries
I want to listen to myself and no one more
But why I ca not do it?
People say “of course you can, you just do not want to”
How that could be true?
Of course I want, but I do not how…
One more time
I do not know…
The insecure of the future
The sad memories of the past
And this hell present… fulls of wishes and hopes… the only thing we have huh?
Present it is the time…
You should not waste your time…
How do I know that I am wasting my time?
If your life can change just in a second…
It is because I am not determinate person?
It is because I do not have confident in me?
What should I do then?
Can someone tell me?
Of course they can, remember, they do not understand you…

You know this push and pull can make you tired…
They say live your life
And how do I know that I am living my life?
How do I know if this is the real happiness?
Should we create live rules?
Happiness rules? ...
If we break those rules then we will sad?
That is the reason why we feel sad?
Because we break happiness rules?....
Or we just decide to be sad?
Being sad or happy it is our decision…
But we all decide to be happy, so then why do we feel sad?

Should we burn our feelings?
But still they say feelings are the most precious thing in this world
But you know how damn they hurt you!!?

Do I have to put again a mask in my face?
To look like everything is OK
Everything is alright
But inside your heart is burning,
You can not breathe
You feel your heart breaking into pieces
You feel your breast aching
You want to run away but you can not..,
There is no place to go

DO SOREBA II!!? ど それば いい??

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~


PD: sorry for any english error!! >.<

lunes, 11 de mayo de 2009

***Hana beauty***


















Flowers are a beautiful creation of god....

no matter how they look, no matter what they mean

we can not stop to look at their purity and beautiness

all women are a beautiful flower

no matter how they look outside

no matter what secrets they have

women are the most beautiful creation of god...

so, we have to take care of them

like we take care of the flowers...

Do not let a flower to fade away...
-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~

Photos by me (Verok-chan)

PD: sorry for any english error... >.<




sábado, 9 de mayo de 2009

***Dear friends***




The seats with a yellow umbrella in the backyard
There it is...the place i want to go

the place that will remember me the good days, the good friendships

a place where old friends will be...

a place where we could share the news, the best and worst times of our life

a place where no matter what we will laugh and have fun

a beautiful place...


No matter how appart we are...

no matter what paths we follow...

we will go there to have a talk with the people we love

a place where we do not have to wear masks

a place where we show the way we are...

our likes becomes everyone likes

our hates becomes everyone hates

where we will talk about the unfair of teachers and school

where we will ask help in any field we have problems

where we will look at the food and say " OMG no matter what i am eating a cat here"

we will sing and dance

say school does not have delicious food

a place where time and space does not matter

a beautiful memory to remember...




I won't forget those days no matter how old i will be

and for those people who share those moments with me, i will never forget them



Please, take care of yourself and do not forget about me

and i hope to see you next time in the seats with a yellow umbrella in the backyard



Sarangheyo ^^ Aya Aya fighting! Ganbatte + OIL ~~~ Let's stay together


let's not forget the beautiful memories of our past ~~~~










-Vwei19

~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~


PD: sorry for any english error!! >.< Also, sorry i have not take any photo of that place so i draw it on my pc xD hope you enjoy it ~

viernes, 8 de mayo de 2009

*** First IB test week***


Hello, Good morning, aftermoon or evening... whatever...
This week i had 8 test @.@
It was three of history, another three of biology and two of maths...

So start with history, hmm first test i tought it was pretty easy,
i just had to read and answer some questions, all you need to know it was how to answer
and a little bit of cold war
Second test was about world wars, i choose the first word in 1914- 1918, but i say it was a limited war...
people told me that i got wrong that vietnam war was the limited war... but well i explain why i think is limited and why not... anyway.... xD the other question was... for what reasons did Fidel Castro of Cuba stay so long.. well .. i say all i knew about it..
And last test of history i wrote about the war in United States in 1860 and... about Cuba again? ... i do not remember LOL

Now, about biology test.... well first one i was pretty secure about my answers, but later talking with my friends and seeing others answers it looks like i did not went so good as i thought
the second test i did better :).. i knew a lot, i also draw the heart with all the stuff ^^
but i did not knew about human genome and training of multicellular membranes
Then, last test of biology it was about options.. i choose.. option A and E, about nutrients, food, diabetes and fenilalanina, and option E was about neurons, stimuli, brain, drugs... and i knew everything.... (happy happy) xD

AND FINALLY! THE VIOLATION!! xD the math test that fucked me two times
OMG that was HARD HARD HARD!!! i knew a little bit but well... i answer what i could .. and some other things i tried by another ways.. but pretty hard hard!! i know i will not pass...

So well, after today morning it was my second test...
i am shooked of myself
because i did not well in a test.. but i am not crying or angry
nothing xD i feel very happy and i do not care about my math score...
so it is amazing xD :) (happy that i do not care) XD

So, now i am writting because i did a lot of stuff today first of all i draw cute stuff around all my lefthand haa xD i was bored in english class.. and it looks like a TATOO xD... and second one... hmm i ate sushi!!! >.<>

And well next week i will have English and Spanish test!! So good luck, the best, and give me all the force!! >.<>.<>

>.<>.<

GANBATTE NE!! ~~ how japanese say!
+ OIL! ~~ how chinese and taiwanese say xD
AYA AYA FIGHTING!!! >.< ~~ how corean says!!
DO YOUR BEST DONT GIVE UP! ~~~ how english people say xD
FORCA!! ~~ portuguese say
ÉXITO! SUERTE! HAZ LO MEJOR! NO TE RINDAS! ~~ how spanish people say

Oh i almost forgot, also last week i made something called "brownies" and "ranme" xD ha it is important to me because mother do not let me cook ... so well... later i will upload some photos >.<







Wei Wei's art hand recopilation!! LOL ~~~~


-Vwei19~~~~~~
[Verok-chan]~~~

PD: Sorry for any english error!!! >.<