***Why, when, what, where, how***

Where are you going?
Why did you left me?
Are you seeing me from above?
Are you happy? Are you proud of me?

I wonder, if the time didn’t stop for you that day, what will I be right now?
You always carry my tears, teach me and give me the best, you were my perfect man… but perfection isn’t true

But I can tell a lie… you were a good father after all…
My secret is… that someday I want to reach the place where you are, and I want to give you all the memories I did in this life…
I want to be what you always told me I was… a beautiful star…
But being a star, it isn’t easy… no matter how much I do, no matter my skills, I see that money wins over everything, contacts win over all…

Can I keep going this way?
I always see the sky, and I wonder why I always see the sky when the moon is bright, and why do I feel better after seeing the moon…
What is there in the clouds?
Sometimes I feel the sky smiling for me, I feel like it’s the only thing that gives me the strong I need…

Father… do you know how I am now?
Do you know how much I want my family?
I don’t want to cause any troubles to my mother and sister
But I’m already making it
Why?
Why can I win the money, so my mother won’t spend anything in me?
Why can I bring her the smiles, she need?
Why can not I do the things by myself?
Why I am not so strong?
Why my health it isn’t good?
Why I don’t have the contact and money to make their life easy?
Why my dream doesn’t come true?
Why don’t you let me go?

When?
When is going to happen?
When miracles will success?
When will I recover all the money my mother spends in me?
When will I be enough strong?
When will I be by myself?
When will my dreams come true?
When will I become a star?
When will I ever see you again?
When will it over?
When the moons stop to bright?
When will you let me go?
What?
What should I do?
What do I need?
What do I am?
What is my heart?
What are you doing?

Where?
Where the suns rise up?
Where is the way I should follow?
Where are you?
Where I am?
Where is the strong I need?
Where is the smile I am waiting for?
Where is my heart?
Where the stars appear?

How?
How should I do?
How can I be strong?
How can I go where you are?
How can I smile?
How can you bright?
How can I become a star?
How can I repay all the problems I’m doing?
How can I continue your time?
How can I stop my time?
How should I end this?


… People tell me fuck… kill yourself!!...
But that is not what I want…. Why they misunderstand everything?
I have many memories and things I have to do…
Of course I will keep going, but I can’t keep going if I don’t leave you behind…
I can’t continue if I don’t become stronger
I can’t if my dreams disappear…
But still… I can keep going
No matter what
Because I feel that from far away, you, my beloved dad, you are cheering for me, you are proud of me… right?

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~



PD: sorry for any eng errors!