***Dear friend***

It seems like you love to see how much pain you can make in me
Little by little you are breaking my heart and my soul in pieces
I am just getting hurt in this relationship
You call you a friend… you say you help everybody but not yourself
But have not you realized that you are just making yourself happy?
You treat me like a crap like the worst human in this world, while I told you that you are a good person
You tell me I am not good, that I do not have friends… why do not you see that true friends are not 10 or 14… true friends are one or two…
You say nobody listen you, when I am listening you right now
When I get pissed I just keep it to myself and go to cry all by myself
When you are pissed you blame me of everything
You say I do not tell you a damn thing, but it is because you will not hear it
When I need cheers you just tell me that is how life it is, that you will be right there… Right there doing what? Making more pain in me?
I ask for your help but instead you want me to be your slave
You hear someone popular on school want to made suicide because she lost her mother, but you do not care if I want to suicide or something…
You think, the worlds got a problem with you… but the truth is that you got a problem with the world
When you need someone to hear you, someone to give you cheer I have been always right there
But when I needed a hand you was not there to me…
When I get good grade or good news, instead of saying congratulations, you say it is ok or sometimes you do not pain attention
When I get bad grades or bad news, you say I am sorry with a smile in your face…
When I tell you one problem, you take it as an easy problem… and you just tell me “fuck them all” but that is what you do, that is what you say when you do no get what you want
But when I do not get what I want, I just keep my angry inside of me…
I do not blame anybody for my problems; I just want to be a good person everyday
Regardless all the pain, I stay quiet and do no say nothing, because I know I will hurt you, so in order to not hurt you I just let you do whatever you want…. In order to not hurt you a let you hurt me
But no matter what you did, do or you will do… it is all in myself I do not want to make anybody cry, so when I told you that you hurt me… you started to cry… since that day I knew I can not say anything… instead when I told you the truth and see that you cried, I also cried because I did not wanted to make pain in anybody…. Crying tears that are not mines….
Tell me what I am doing wrong? I just keeping myself all this way I do not hurt you
But then you say “that I do not like you, that I am bad friend”
Is because with only seeing your face I will remember everything and I will want to cry,
But I can not cry in front of you…
Because when I cry you just stay there saying how my tears fall from my eyes
You just stay there seeing how much pain you do to me.


-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~

***Sorrow***

Sorrow… I am sorry… I could not do anything…You felt from the sky and now you are in front of me, asking me your help with your sad eyes…

I just watched your pain, I just saw you… but I did not do anything to help you… I am sorry, instead of helping you; I just push you to make you more hurt than you need…

I am sorry I could not do anything… Why it have to be this way?
Why in that time I could not become your hero?
I tried… but I did not know how painful I was being
I did not know the hurt that I did.
Since the start I wanted to protect you
I wanted to make you free…
So, you could fly around the sky…

I am sorry; I could just watch you silently…
Although you already gone, I won’t forget about you…


-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~


PD: sorry for any english error..!

***If…?!***

If your dream does not become true, will you stop to dream?
If the one you love does not love you back, will you stop to love?
Won’t your heart beat for any other?
If you are sick and you know you will die, will you simply die?
If you do not have a family, wouldn’t you try to find your family?
If you are bad person, will you just hurt everybody?
If people hurt you will you cry? Will you scream? Will you hurt them back?
If you forget wouldn’t you try to remember?
If someone important for you die, would you just let him go?
If you get an error in your life, will you just give up?
If you lost all your money, will you stop trying to win it?
If you are alone, wouldn’t you find someone to be with you?
If you do not like your life will you try to suicide?
If you lost your way, will you just be lost all your life? Wouldn’t you find your way?


-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~

PD: Sorry for any eng error.!

**The story of the four leaf clover and the fear of the old days*

Once upon a time there was a lonely little girl she was searching for a four leaf clover, always when she see it...when she run for it. She hurt herself, because that four leaf clover wasn't in a field, it was in a mountain of thousand of needles, so everytime she searched for that clover, the needles were pushing and hurting the little girl.When she see it again, the four leaf clover is more far away from she, then she thought that the four leaf clover did not wanted to be caught... she thought "It is running away from me" This makes so much pain for she, so she cryed a little that day, and she wait, she give a chance to wait for the decision of that four leaf clover. So time have past, she try again, but as well everything keep being as the same way... the same pain. So, this time the little and lonely girl was the one who take a decision, she does not want to be following an eternal way, she thought that probably the life mean "a long search for the happiness" but if that four leaf clover is not her happines?... Then all the time, all her pain was just a waste ..a waste of her precious time. That day her decision was.. to show her back to that four leaf clover, to return all the way... maybe it is a give up... but she have to do it like that, even if that four leaf clover appear in her life again, she have to pass by, dont even look at it..because the chance of the four leaf clover has gone.But.. she was worried about, she hope to take the ride of her decision, she hope to dont get on his tramps again.. so that is her new mission; people have called it "forget about it" it sounds really easy but actually it is really hard.She didn't knew how, when or why she started to want that four leaf clover? She has asked her many times.. "why i want it?".. but she did not find the reason why... So, she was thinking that if she get that four leaf clover she will know... but the only thing that she learned is that she can not do anything, she can not keep pushing herself to be something than she is not... because all her life, she has been in a box, she did not wanted to go out, but for that four leaf clover she has gone so far for it.So it's time to return home, she wanted... but could it be that old days bring her the same happiness again?... She tryed it...but it doesn't do.. old days had changed to her. She return to it, she smiled for it but when she look inside her, and she find herself sad and lonely why is that? She wanted to cry, she wanted to be alone... but people dont see it they grab her, they put her to do things that she does not want... she think " Can not they see that i am sadness?" She wanted to scream out, but she does not know why! but that's the way of how she feel...people keep pushing she, rushing she, slaping she at the end...they hurt she with their innocent actions..poor, unlucky wretch little girl... because they didn't know her pain, they hurt she a lot..She wanted to cry, but she couldn't.. why she must be always smiling?Everyday it gets much painfull because when she see her truth face, more down and sad than yesterday.That is how she feel in her return of the old days... but.. she see it now... the reason why she liked that four leaf clover, because that clover give her a reason to keep living, to keep smiling, to have a search, to have a short dream...because when she see that especial clover, she feel really happy, when people talk about it she feel happy.. and she is always thinking about that four leaf clover... When she get back in old days, she had found herself thinking in the four leaf clover... So at many ways it hurts she.. in old days and in her searching way.. She thought "what am i suppoused to do? forget all the ways..? to give the back to the two ways, and walk a new way? ...alone.... Do soreba ii?" She tryed that way.. but they dont want her to go! She wanted to go! They want her in the old days.. but they don't know that things have gone so far, and have changed.. they dont know her sadness... She knows that they are trying their best, but they dont see that she is in a big confusion of what to do know... She wants her own time to think about it, she wants to stop the time, but it is not easy ... they still put her in hard decisions, in hard ways...in a hard way to smile.. but that little sabishii girl keep smiling.. but it is soo fake that it hurts she... a fake smile.. not a warm smile.. what should she do?... Now, she have two ways to look, old days and the days of the four leaf clover, what's better to she? To go in a empy life, without feelings, where everything is soo fake?...or... To go following a hurtful clover, that makes you happy, but for his search she has to get hurted many times, it means a search without ending... she means... a impossible search....

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~

PD: Sorry for any eng/sp errors!