A short love story.

 A short love story

It was a fresh midnight when I met him, I was about to sleep when suddenly an unknown message from an unknown person, reached my mobile phone.

I saw his profile photo and remember I have seen him before; in a website where you meet people from different places of the world.

I have to declare that this is quite my hobby, making profiles in different websites and chatting with people over the internet.

Why? I really still wonder, why do I have this kind of habit? Maybe because I am not good at making friends in real life or it is that I can express better with people that I don’t fully know. Maybe I am just a loser like everyone says.

I got his message around 2 am, my cute ringtone sounded “kaotalk” I tough it would be the same, like everyone else I have met in the Internet, but I just wasn’t aware of what was going to happen next.

He quickly replied me back, so we kept texting each other until 4 am, tough in his country was 7 pm already.

My first impression of him was that he was a faker or his photo wasn’t him. Actually his appearance was such as a handsome, pretty and grown up boy. So, I tough “It must be fake, I’m not that lucky to be able to talk to someone as pretty as him”

On the other side, he was a friendly and funny. It seemed that everything was perfect about him.

I was surprised to see he wrote me even the next morning and so on in the night; it was like this for a couple of days.

Everyday we would text to each other. We held long conversations about each other dreams, likes, hobbies, jobs and life. He also asked me about my lifestyle, he was impressed of how different can be a country that is not so developed as his country.

He told me “I will rescue you from there, and take you with me, just prepare your stuff”

I tough it was a joke, so I laughed and agreed with him.

Like this we got to know each other, we friendly got closer in a short time. We would joke and have fun, he would often tease me and so I also tried too, but failed, making him burst in laughter. Other times we would seriously talk about the unfair of the world, talk about what made us angry and sad. Talk about different experiences we had. In the end we spoke our feelings out and comforted each other.

Deep in me, I still hold this precious memories; one of my favorites is when we send a voice text. He told me his voice was husky, but for me it was just manly and warm. He sometimes would cutely say “Ouh~”, but it was just a slang or part of his vocabulary, since his mother language wasn’t English. I found this cute, and I would tease him with it.

Then I also send him a voice message, where I said a word in his language “Babo chorom”. With this he took revenge of me and teased me a lot, even thought he told me the way that it should be spelled, I kept on saying it the same, because I didn’t see the difference at all.

Actually, he had a good time with it, for a couple of days he would just laugh and tell me to say it again; he quite enjoyed my way of saying “babo chorom”.

He repeated my voice messages over and over, and says that I was cute like a kid.

This is how it started, something that I still don’t know if it should be called love, but it was more than just a friendship over the mobile phone. Inside there was a warm feeling growing like a sunflower in each other hearts.

He started complementing me regularly, about being cute. He would often say “I think you are such a good person and I like talking to you so much. I want to know more about you”

For the moment I tough “Let’s just enjoy”. Since I also liked talking to him everyday without missing a single day. I never tough that while doing this I was making his way to my heart. I wasn’t aware that I would grow feelings for him.

Sometimes when I wasn’t able to reply him back, he would get angry or how he would say “Bbjim”. He even asked me why I didn’t reply him quickly.

Then we made a date, actually it wasn’t a date. We would see each other by web camera on skype. I was quite nervous, all this time I only saw him by photos and listened his voice a few times.

The moment of true arrived. My mind was filled with this toughs “Would he be the one in the photo? Does he look the same? What will he think about me? If he doesn’t like how I look in real life? What do I do if It gets awkward?”

Badump…Badump…Badump, Badump, Badump. Without any coherent reason my heart started beating fast and my face got hot. I felt like I was dizzy.

“Why am I being like this?” I thought.

He turned on his camera. He looked the same like in his photos; I was relieved and happy that it wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t only his charming appearance it was also his protective voice, his words, his jokes, his cute reactions, his different expressions even the way he teased me. That was how he trapped me.

That day I fall for him.

He could perfectly say “Neo naegen banhaesseo”.

I was shocked; all I did was staring at him. I listened and agreed with everything he said. Duet to my shyness and my absent mind that was appreciating him, I didn’t talk at first; I was giggling all the time and hiding my face.

He quickly noticed that I was being shy, so he led me in the conversation; he teased me and made fun of my reaction. He told me to not be shy, he said

“Talk, talk, talk, talk… come on talk. Don’t be shy”

He repeat it many times “talk”. He asked why I couldn’t freely speak like him.

I told him that apart of being shy I wasn’t confident to talk in English with him, because my mother language is Spanish.

Then he said “Do you want me to ask questions? Like how was your day? What color you like? What music do you like? What are your hobbies?”

I said “No, no, no”. So on, I started to open up and spoke with him. We talked about our lifestyle. Sometimes he would directly see to the camera, this simple action would make me stop talking.

Every time he did that, I would giggle and say “no, don’t do that”. And I would hide myself.

My body was feeling hot, my breathing was uneven and my legs were trembling even tough I was sitting. It got worst when he suddenly stopped talking and was just staring at his screen. He said after a pause.

“I want to touch you”

I felt like my head was pilled up with blood, I was almost going to faint. Even now, when I remember it, I still feel the warmest of that moment.

I said “No, don’t do it”, while putting my hands on my cheeks.

He said “Exactly that part I want to touch”. He started touching his screen while saying “I’m touching your cheeks, your eyes, your nose and lips”

While he was saying that, I was touching the parts he said, I was burning inside so I hide all my face. He laughed, and started talking about something else.

It was late in his country and her sister would often appear because she wanted to use the computer. So he said he should go, but before that he typed something on skype while smiling and asked me “Do you want to know what I wrote?” I told him “yes” and he sends it.

It said “I think today you are really cute”

I wonder why he didn’t say it, but instead he typed it. Was it because he would feel shy after saying it?

We kind of played “hang you first”, because I didn’t want to stop the call and he also didn’t want. So, we spent like 30 minutes waiting to someone stop the call.

After the call was over, my head was filled with lot of toughs, my heart was uneasy, my body warm and I was just really happy.

I quickly wrote to him that I was sorry for not being able to talk, that I was really too shy. He replied me that I don’t need to worry, that I was perfect. He said he enjoyed our video call.

I don’t know why, but the moment made me ask him that. I asked “By anyway do you kind of like me?”

He said he wasn’t sure, that he needed to know me more, but that he liked talking to me everyday. He also said that he wouldn’t use the word like to a girl instead he would say love.

I didn’t understand much, so, I asked him. He said for him to love me he wanted to know me more and ask permission.

This part is important. I asked him “Permission for what?” And he said.

“Permission to fall in love with you”

Since that phrase, our relationship became stronger. Some days I would totally think that indeed he loved me, other days I would said “this is totally a joke, how can we fall in love? We don’t know each other in real life”.

The next day he asked me if I would have a dinner with him. I laughed and said “A dinner by web camera?” He laughed and said “It could be” and add later “But promise me, we would dinner together when we meet”.

I said “Ok, but that is probably not going to happen, because we won’t be able to meet” He got mad, actually every time I told him that it was impossible to meet each other; he would get mad and said “Believe in me, we will meet.”

After this, he told me that he had to go to military service for three days. We couldn’t be able to talk for those days. After he turned back, I was mad at him because he didn’t reply me, but he said he couldn’t and that he also missed me. That while those three days, all he wanted was to talk to me.

Not far after not being able to talk, he told me that he would start studying. Since he was in military service for two years and moved from different countries; he wasn’t able to go to the university.

So, now, he would be really busy studying and working. I was a little bit sad and I told him “You are going to forget about me”. I didn’t know that what I said, it would come true.

We no longer talked as much as we used before. I know he was trying hard, he even got sick and there were days he couldn’t be able to sleep, because of his work and he needed to study at nights.

After trying to convince him twice, he would call at least once. Because I wanted to try a new app of the mobile phone, which can make free calls.

It was 5 am when he called me; he just finished his job and he was riding the bus back home. The phone call had a nice feeling with it. I felt like we were closer, that, he living in another country was a lie. That we can actually meet.

We talked about different things about his life and my life; he teased me when I heard by the phone a couple of little kids; he said “Those are kids that just go out of school; surely they will go to buy ice cream. I think they are your age, aren’t them your friends?”

I replied with a “Hey~” and laughed, he said sorry for teasing me a lot. But I actually liked every time he teased me.

Since we live far away from each other, the connection failed, so, the call ended. And he wasn’t able to call again. He sends me a message with his unexpected love attack. He wrote

“Can I fall in love with you?”

I thought “He did it. He said that he would ask me permission. He is asking me permission now” I remember I read those lines one and after another time, I even rolled around my bed. I was happy.

I answered “Yes”, he said “Ok” with a face winking. I wanted to ask, “What does that mean for him? How would be our relationship, now that he is able to love me?” His question felt like it had a lot of meanings, but it actually didn’t mean anything, cause after that, we were the same and we even wrote less than before.

It was a Friday when everything came to his end; I told him that I was sad, that we can’t talk so much as before. He said he was sorry, that he will call me later. That day he was going out for a couple of drinks with his friends, that if he gets drunk, he would show his wild side to me. He thought that would scare me, but I actually wanted to see that side of him. I was expecting for it.

That same day I remembered that his birthday was next month; I knew that I wouldn’t have time to make something for him later. So, I decided to make a drawing of him and a letter that day; and then I would wait until his birthday to give it to him. While I was making it, I was fully of happiness, thinking about what kind of reactions he would have or how would he feel after seeing it.

After it was done, it was really weird that I didn’t get any message from him. I was waiting for his wild side and was really curious about it.

That day was the last day I ever hear of the guy I liked so much. It was thanks to this day, that I realized, that what I thought it was just playing around with a couple of messages, was actually something bigger than that. I thought that it won’t cause me any harm. But inside of me, everything about him is saved; although I want to forget, memories keep coming back, and once back, I feel like I don’t want to let go of him, even thought I have said to myself too many times to erase him from my heart and mind. I just can’t.

But the story doesn’t end here.

 He came back after a month. Yes, exactly the same day of his birthday. Why? Because I searched for him like a crazy, and thought of many ways of making him or better say obligate him to see his present, the letter I did with so much caring.

He saw it, his reaction was like how I predicted. He made excuses, said he was sorry and loved the letter.

I thought that with this, everything was solved, that it would return like how it was before.

But he isn’t the same person I liked so much, the same person that would make me stop talking, made me giggle, warmed my heart and made my face burn.

That person isn’t reachable anymore, no longer exits out there. Only exits inside of me.

Not because I changed my feeling, but because he changed his feelings.

The person who came back, I don’t even know him and can’t even understand him. The person I liked used to care about me, this one doesn’t even matter, doesn’t even want to know anything related to me.

For a short time I enjoyed this relationship, which even today I don’t know what it exactly was.

Was it love? Or was it all a good play?

All I know is that while he was asking me for let him love me, I already loved him.

-Vwei19
~~~~~~ [Verok-chan]~~~